Something funny on the internet.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Funny short jokes and sayings No.2
I want patience - AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Would a wingless fly be called a walk?
Beat the 5 o'clock rush, leave work at noon.
I had amnesia once - maybe twice.
Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.
I’m quitting facebook to face my books…
Avoid hangovers: stay drunk.
You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good, either.
You can't have everything... where would you put it?
A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. Fred Allen
Step 1: Buy hamster. Step 2: Name it virginity. Step 3: Lose hamster. Close enough.
Irish Coffee is the perfect breakfast because it contains all four adult food groups: fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol.
Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. Winston Churchill
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